20th November

In the white cotton sheeted bed. A hibernating beast haunting the middle of nights, stretching his eyes to unnatural places, mangling his face, contorting his sharp bones, and making the two of us whisper as he shakes, 'Relax daddy, you're OK daddy' just in case he recognises our voices as we stroke his arm and... Continue Reading →

28th September

Cancer. An extra family limb of unsurpassable weight that we drag around. Turns dreams to nightmares. Holidays to wanna-go-homes. Food to unfanciable. The future to unforgivable. Its mass grows and grows. Casts a shadow over everything. How can I see your smile and the fact that you got out of bed today when I miss... Continue Reading →

22nd August 2019

Nan, Before you got confused and covered your nose with red lipstick, you were glamorous. On a Saturday night when I was little and Blind Date was on, you would stand in front the mirror in the center of the living room and shroud yourself in a mist of potent perfume, then Blind Date would... Continue Reading →

20th July 2019

This week we shaved your hair. It dropped, we collected dreadlocks. You selected. Thick, thin, those divided into two or three at the bottom and chose between us who would bequeath. Some of us weaved it into ours. I cursed my hair for the millionth time for being so white, so white it wouldn't clutch... Continue Reading →

11:35pm 28th April 2019

I love when he takes my hand. It saddens me too. Sat on the sofa, our legs spread like starfish watching Victoria. Not royalists, but we love period dramas. He may comment on the fish tank, the lunar, the clam, the shrimp, as though they're the school project he never had, or us lot who... Continue Reading →

9th February 2019

You uplift me. I say, I'm terrified. You listen with shimmering eyes. Listen humbly as always. We acknowledge not wanting to cause pain in the other. Your brown hand scarred with tiny pale circles of light skin, from burns, digs fingers into your scalp amongst speckled grey, beautiful-black dreadlocks. That hair. Smells of comfort, of... Continue Reading →

22nd December 2018

She wants to freeze time. Ask fate to be kind and grant more moments for them to just sit together. Hypothetical torture: questions of, "if in the past she'd done this" butcher her thoughts. Blame is dry sand - tangible, but impossible to hand. Tears replace faith and prayers. For now, she likes to touch... Continue Reading →

About me

Welcome to my website; a series of poetic diary entries as I stand by my father on his cancer journey. He was diagnosed stage 4 in March 2017. In 2015, I made the decision to become a writer. Since, I've completed a Creative Writing MA, written 2.5 (!) manuscripts and won the Janklow & Nesbit... Continue Reading →

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