20th November

In the white cotton sheeted bed. A hibernating beast haunting the middle of nights, stretching his eyes to unnatural places, mangling his face, contorting his sharp bones, and making the two of us whisper as he shakes, 'Relax daddy, you're OK daddy' just in case he recognises our voices as we stroke his arm and... Continue Reading →

28th September

Cancer. An extra family limb of unsurpassable weight that we drag around. Turns dreams to nightmares. Holidays to wanna-go-homes. Food to unfanciable. The future to unforgivable. Its mass grows and grows. Casts a shadow over everything. How can I see your smile and the fact that you got out of bed today when I miss... Continue Reading →

22nd August 2019

Nan, Before you got confused and covered your nose with red lipstick, you were glamorous. On a Saturday night when I was little and Blind Date was on, you would stand in front the mirror in the center of the living room and shroud yourself in a mist of potent perfume, then Blind Date would... Continue Reading →

5th August

She is old, frail, can't string a sentence together. She doesn't recognise me. I read her stories - she used to read them to me -, about a gypsy girl who keeps saying "I don't belong here". I feel guilty. She sleeps. I hope my voice is comfort to her, on some level, while she's... Continue Reading →

11:35pm 28th April 2019

I love when he takes my hand. It saddens me too. Sat on the sofa, our legs spread like starfish watching Victoria. Not royalists, but we love period dramas. He may comment on the fish tank, the lunar, the clam, the shrimp, as though they're the school project he never had, or us lot who... Continue Reading →

2nd March 2019

When I have a drink in bed, the mattress could be anything, a raft, an island, a flying carpet. 8pm in bed on a Saturday night? In my 20s I swore I'd party my whole life. I was right. Except now the party isn't a Saturday night, the party is in my soul. It's gratitude... Continue Reading →

26th February 2019

Sat together, he closes his eyes and I think the same old thing that's looped over, over, over for two years. Let us find the cure to heal his body, save his life and give me many, many, many more nights of him snoring lightly, quietly, peacefully beside me on this brown leather sofa. His... Continue Reading →

5:30am 22nd February 2019

She realised she must be grateful for fucked up shit. They were still alive. Impossible thought! But in the early morning, she felt a new day. Blessing. The smell of onions on her washed hands was life now. They cooked together. Some days they chanted, cross-legged, closed-eyes, holding hands. Other days he'd walk. Deep breaths.... Continue Reading →

About me

Welcome to my website; a series of poetic diary entries as I stand by my father on his cancer journey. He was diagnosed stage 4 in March 2017. In 2015, I made the decision to become a writer. Since, I've completed a Creative Writing MA, written 2.5 (!) manuscripts and won the Janklow & Nesbit... Continue Reading →

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